Funny words beginning with P

'Pack it in soft,bag n' all'

'You might as well do it'
submitted by dave

P.A.B or P'ABE

A person who acts tough but is actually softer than a fabric softner sheet
submitted by Kevin

P.A.L

Personal Ass Licker
submitted by nathan donald

P.H.A.T

(sounds like fat) Means Pretty Hot And Tempting
submitted by supa_sexy_spy

P.I.C.N.I.C.

Computer tech talk - "Problem In Chair, Not In Computer"
submitted by The Dawg-Father

P.O.N.T.I.A.C.

Poor Old N***a Thinks It's A Cadilac
submitted by aj= ass jacker

p.o.o.t.f.

person or object to f*ck
submitted by funny

P.O.T.H.

Power of the hole
submitted by Bill Gordon

P.T.A.

A shower for women who only hit the Pits, the Tits, and the Ass
submitted by Rabbit

Paddy Wack

Nerd, Loser
submitted by Jiggy

Pajama time

Sex time
submitted by Tyler ZombieFyd McCain

PAL

Personal Arse Licker
submitted by bob

Palminia and her five friends

Masturbation
submitted by spode

Paltry

Rubbish, crap, pathetic
submitted by Paulie

Palucha

Poop
submitted by Sean

Pancakes

The flappy bits that hang out of fat chicks' clothes when they're too tight
submitted by Dynamite Heady

Pantene crisis

Unbelievably bad hair (eg backcombed, hairsprayed hair after 2 nights of clubbing without a wash in between) that would need copious amounts of Pantene to rectify!
submitted by TheDane

Pants

Absolutely rubbish
submitted by katie

Paper bag job

A girl who has a hot body, but unfortunatly an ugly face
submitted by Jammo

Paperwork

Issues
submitted by Rosha

Parched

When someone hasn't had sex in a long time and their down area is dry
submitted by ZMan

Part

A pussy fart!
submitted by Muckin' Fonster

Partooschkey

Big butt
submitted by Bethani; Bibi; Oprah

Party Pickle

A dick ready for action. A party treat for the ladies. Created in OKLAHOMA
submitted by RGB

Party Supplies

My mom and I's codeword for tampons
submitted by Corpat

Party-foul

when you spill your beer, cause drama, act retarded ect. and disrupt the party...... you have commited a PARTY FOUL!!!
submitted by anonymous

Pat

What you call someone who seems to be a hermaphrodite. You cannot tell if this person is male or female, so just call them Pat (Patrick or Patricia?).
submitted by Kazer91

Patowed

To get totally hammered this weekend
submitted by tree

Pay-pay

Used when everything is going wrong and you shouldn't cuss because you're a teacher or talking to one. ex: "This is pay-pay!"
submitted by Julia the Bored

PC Piglett

Someone who is horny
submitted by beth&nicole

Peacanboddieluse

A very hot girl
submitted by LIl Peacanboddieluse

Peach

"An even fairier version of a fruit (see "Fruit"). As in, "Hes so fruity hes a peach!"
submitted by TheDane

Peach

Something that is nice
submitted by Geth

Peach

Nice bum. As in "she's got a peach"
submitted by anonymous

Peach Yogurt

When asked what boogers taste like, my cousin answered "peach yogurt"
submitted by volleyblonde

Pear drops

When you go to the toilet and you think you've had a really big shit but when you look there is only a few droplets floating
submitted by cozza cha

Pear Necklace

When a guy gets off on your neck
submitted by ozbrn80

PearHead

A name for a peron with a pear shaped head

Pearl

A substitue to "girl", when you don't want anyone to know what you are talking about
submitted by Anonymous

Peck

Substitute for the word "heck".
submitted by Danny

Peck & Decker

An extremely small penis, not fit for sexual intercourse
submitted by Seymour Butts

Pecksniffian

Hypocritical person
submitted by maemae

Pedestroid

A pedestrain
submitted by Smel Gibson

Pee-wee herman

Said when you need to go to the toilet
submitted by Sacred

Peel/Peeled

Someone or thing is stupid
submitted by seth

Peeshy

What God says instead of cock.
submitted by Diddy Dirty Money Delvecchio

Pencil

Penis
submitted by someone

Pendeja

It means "stupid" or "motherf**ker" in Spanish
submitted by anonymous gurl

Penearse

When you hate someone so much you can't decide whether they are a penis or an arse :- "You are such a penearse"
submitted by A friend of a friend

Peng

It means to be sexy!
submitted by haydn

Peng

Strong/good - usually for describing weed
submitted by G

Penis bob

An ugly Guy with a very attractive female, it could also be used as a substitute for douchebag.
submitted by Dennis Petzold

Penis Leash

A very off-the-wall insult to an annoying person, and also a sex toy.
submitted by Insanity Pirate

Penitoris

Unusually small or unable to differentiate between a clitoris and a tiny penis. What a hermaphrodite would refer to his genitalia as. A man who has a less than adequate package on display for others to heckle.
submitted by Mikey (no penitoris)

Pennis

Penis tennis - Gay intercourse.
submitted by Mr. T

Pentapotamian Posterium

Scientific Graeco-Roman term for the Punjabi Woman's wonderfully large steatopygian Buttocks.
submitted by Bhangra Boy

Perd

Nothing, Everything. Usually to define an individual, can be used as a substitute for any word. E.g "James is a Perd who likes to perd himself"
submitted by Gimli son of Rosas

Peri Peri

As in "Here boy" but "Here Peri Peri"
submitted by the squishable one

Perogie

I worked at a restaurant and when a hot girl/guy in we would shout "Perogie"
submitted by the tv preacher

Persian shower

When you cant be arsed to take a wash or dont have the time, so you just cover yourself with deodorant
submitted by Willy-mon-doo!

Pete Tong

"When things dont go to plan..."it all went a bit pete tong"
submitted by helen

Pew

A wooden bench in a church (at more than 50, the name still makes me smile. Yeah like you don't too)
submitted by Confucious

Phantasmagorical

fantastic/surreal.......
submitted by HOBBO

Phantom

When you know you pushed a turd out but there is nothing in the toilet
submitted by Holly Woodsmith

Pheasant

A really annoying person that belongs in a birdcage
submitted by asscrust

Pheeeu

"Should be accompanied with a throwing of your arms into the air in a "i dont give a shit" kinda movement when you just cant be bothered anymore like when you're having an arguement and the other person is wrong but just wont give in."
submitted by Shelly

Pheeeu

"Should be accompanied with a throwing of your arms into the air in a "i dont give a shit" kinda movement when you just cant be bothered anymore like when you're having an argument and the other person is wrong but just wont give in say pheeeu and walk out"
submitted by Shelly

Phlanarfulflunk

A skateboarder that is the best in your town
submitted by Ty

Phoner

When you get a phone call and get turned on.
submitted by VampyOfChatango

phugus

Absolutely anything, usually something unpleasant i.e 'I Got Phugus On My Hands!'
submitted by gibbs

PI-KAAH!

A random word you say to break an awkward silence. almost like the sound a crow makes....
submitted by ~Fish Socckks~

Picasso Arse

A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

Pickle (Pickle dick)

One with a small penis
submitted by anon

Pickle-snoat

Jaw-dropping impressed/amazed [usually used when having sex]
submitted by ( . )( . )mychachas

Picklestick

Pets name or a term of endearment
submitted by Rick, the rickster, the R

Pickleweasel

Getting your dick caught in the zipper of your pants
submitted by KennyM!

Piddley diddley department

The bathroom
submitted by Linny

Piddley-Diddley department

When you need a wee and are a bit drunk...
submitted by Lizzie and Sarah

Piddly

A worthless individual [Context: As it's a noun, feel free to use the phrase "She's a piddly". It's also known to be the opposite of Monster
submitted by Benny J, London

Pifkin

To have left over toilet paper stuck in your ass crack
submitted by jake9797

Pig Dog

Really ugly chick who looks like a pig and is a total dog!
submitted by Sarcastic_Sadistic_Bitch

Pigga

An asian nigga
submitted by anonymous

Piggly Wiggly

Indicates any convenience store but more fun to say i.e. "Dude just buy some KY jelly at the Piggly Wiggly"
submitted by Heywood Yapokeme

Pigleting

"To have a really lazy day e.g. "I can't be bothered today...I'm pigleting"
submitted by Inverness

Pikeing

Stealing
submitted by hayden coe

Pikey

Someone who has money but wont spend it coz they are tight!
submitted by k

Pikey

Townies that form large packs around McDonalds. Attire: Ben Sheman shoes, Kappa & FCUK gear, burberry cap, smoking B&H
submitted by Dez

Pikey

Someone who doesn't have any money, steals it from other people and yet still can't work out why he looks like a Pikey wearing his Reebox Classics, Trackie, Baseball cap in the air with optional Trackie hood to cover.
submitted by Kev

Pilfamilkascrim

I'm so horny, ie *I am so pilfamilkascrim*
submitted by jesus

Pillow Biter

Homosexual
submitted by Cabz

Pillow-Biter

A gay man
submitted by -

Piltch

Fish (Calling someone a fish)
submitted by Andrew Brackin

Piltchy

Fishes (Calling more than 1 person a Piltch AKA Fish)
submitted by Andrew Brackin

Pimmel

Penis
submitted by beanz

Pimms o'clock

Time to get wasted
submitted by Guyliath

Pimpette

Girl version of a pimp
submitted by Nicole Crocker

Pimptastic

Being pimp to the highest extent.
submitted by Shaun

Pimptress

The female version of a pimp
submitted by Kelli

Pinch a Loaf

Means to take a sh*t.
submitted by Tommygun

Pingle

My Dad’s word for a fart, apparently my Nan used to say it.
submitted by Julie

Pinglish Conversations

Sex
submitted by Boo

Pink Taco

A vagina
submitted by Carrie

Pinked

When you touch the ball over an on-rushing 'keeper in football, you 'Pink' it.
submitted by Timmy

Pinksy

Peeing
submitted by pink and purple

Pinney

Cheap
submitted by irishmissie

Pino

Love
submitted by lqla

Piparoo

Dumbass, socially unacceptable person.
submitted by Momma Natale

Pipes and Stripes

Male strippers that are either acting as plumbers or convicts
submitted by KennyM! & MikeD!

Pipshe

A small piece of lint very observable on clothing
submitted by Vixcha

Pirate Hook

Curved dick from excessive jacking-off
submitted by Ty

Pisshiver

That involuntary shudder a man experiences after a long, satisfying beer piss
submitted by Beer Piss

Pissification

To piss on something, hence pissify it
submitted by Ty

Pissitivity

Tension in the room; eg: "the level of pissitivity in the meeting was high."
submitted by owlmusic

Pisspoor

Very bad job
submitted by josh

Pisspumpkin

A watermelon
submitted by Terry

Pissy Missy

A person who is whining
submitted by dude

Pit Stop

Your regular check of arm pit smell.
submitted by M&M-K

PITA

Pain In The Ass
submitted by Danny Paul

Pita Potta

A homosexual
submitted by rebecca

Pith

To kill by cutting the spinal cord. One of many definitions.
submitted by $T@LK3R

Pity Platter

Giving to those who are feeling sorry for themselves.
submitted by Robert M. Hensel

Plank

Someone that is thick or stupid
submitted by Daniel

Plasmatic

Completely awesome; like if something or someone is extremely hot.
submitted by Kurfy

Plastic

Someone or something that is really cool!
submitted by ducky

Plastic

A stuck up perfect preppy hot girl
submitted by chris dostie

Platypus

Someone who looks like a bunch of different animals put together in human form
submitted by Doug

Playstation claw

This is where you play games for a long perod of time and your hand returns to the shape of the controller when relaxed
submitted by [email protected] ADDME

Pleat

Do something cool, be of a cool nature. e.g. "You are pleatful", or when something cool happens: "PLEAT!!!"
submitted by deathy japan

Pleb

A posh townie (chav)
submitted by mr skittle 666 pentagram hahaha joking ill stop now

Pleb

A compleate idiot
submitted by lube-in-a-tube manchester

Pleb

Someone with out a degree
submitted by liam simpson

Plebdazzle

Something that Plebs like, such as football, the lottery, reality television, and drunken fighting.
submitted by Vicki

Pliggle

To describe anything painful that you are about to do, have done or are doing.
submitted by Gothic Moot Man

Plob

A pleb who denies it
submitted by Hannioo

Plonker

A dickhead/idiot/erm...just an insult if somebody has done something really, really stupid. Like dancing to 'Barbie Girl'. Oooh, you fool.
submitted by Goosefrag

Plooga

An unusual thing. e.g "That is very plooga"
submitted by lemonhoneydew123

Ploops

Poo crums left on the toilet seat.
submitted by oginger

Ploopus

What one might smear on their ball bag or vag when wiping an unexpectedly slick sh*t from top to bottom instead of vice versa
submitted by Chocolate Teabag

Plugged

Excited / charged up
submitted by cluelessly random ;)

Plumper

A fat person
submitted by Smel Gibson

Plumpkin

A really cute chubby girl, not fat, just chubby.
submitted by Chelley

Plumsy

An insult. ie "oh shut up ya plumsy". Also referred to as a girls private part!
submitted by Bob

Plunger

When you add more force to whaking off when you can't cum
submitted by rawker

Plural

To be said if you cant be bothered stickin the V sign up at someone or if it to someone like a lecturer/parent etc
submitted by Emzi

Plush

Nice way for a guy to call a girl fat without upseting any nearby females.
submitted by LOLer

Plut

Sluts that work in Pizza Hut
submitted by Danni and Emma

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

A lung disease (doctors make things so complicated!)
submitted by singacow

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

A weird lung disease caused by inhaling dust and/or ash particles, specifically silicon particles from a volcano
submitted by y u need to know my name, STALKER?!?

Pocket hole

When someone makes a hole in their pocket so they can feel their genitals!
submitted by cozza cha

Poindexter

A nerd
submitted by ssajr

Pointy

Piss Off I'm Not Telling You. ie When you're with your family and someone askes you who you are going out with just say "Pointy!"
submitted by milliey

Poisondwarf

Someone little who is real annoying
submitted by aimee

Poke-e-Man

A homosexual
submitted by 4lyf

Pol

Pal, but better, and you must emphasise the P and rise your tone as you say it or you have said it wrong
submitted by Aiden

Pompus Ferrell

Somebody that is pompus and a ferrell
submitted by Paulie

Pontafix

Farting in the shower and following through.
submitted by Jake H

Pontiac

Poor Old Nigger Thought It's A Cadillac
submitted by bobby white

Pony

Utter crap!
submitted by Jimmy Grant

Poo-glue

Residue that remains in your pants no matter how many times you wash them
submitted by butt paste

Poochy

Something that is not pleasing to any of the senses. ie "She looks Poochy in that dress" or "That sandwich tastes poochy"
submitted by patricia M

Poodle-socket

Car glove box
submitted by KarenK

Pookie

Peace
submitted by macey

Pookie

Cutie
submitted by Tep

Poon

To make sexual advances towards, or more explicitly to sleep with, anyone. From "Poontang"
submitted by Toby

Poon

Guys use it to say hot chicks
submitted by stef

Poon

Everyone is wrong. Poon is a noun and it is an insult to a person who is an idiot.
submitted by olivia

Poon

Vagina
submitted by Olgregg

Poonami

An explosive crap that requires a shower and maid service.
submitted by fuggily wuggily

Poonami

Explosive and watery diarrhea as opposed to Poon-ami (n) An extremely heavy menstrual flow. This would make it a synonym.
submitted by The Taint Dweller

Poonami

A really heavy menstrual flow.
submitted by John A.

Poonani

A stupid Person
submitted by Justin

Poonani

Female Portion (in england)
submitted by Mr-G

Poontang

Female sexual organs, generally used in reference to sex
submitted by HuDaFuK

Poontang

Slang for vagina, or sex
submitted by David Wheeler

Poooopeeeeeeeschlong!

A bad experience
submitted by Punk Rock Max Grims

Poop-aloop-Aquak-alaka

"It's gone"
submitted by bobv

Poopa-loops

Cherrios in your poop
submitted by Gayland Mc Flabbat

Poopcha

Butt
submitted by Sienna

Poopen-Stroopen

Your backside
submitted by Pingu

Pooper Scooper Deluxe

A exclamation that either describes pain, frustration, aggravation, or an insult
submitted by mr jay vId0

Pooperstroodle

A poop that looks like a stroodle
submitted by Cyanne

Poopish

Boring, not feeling well, not good
submitted by Nobogal

Poot

Farting when you have to shit
submitted by Tortoise

Pooter

You know when you're trying to take a poo and nothing comes out but a fart? That's a pooter!
submitted by That dude from across the street who's trying to kill you.

Pootie

Someone who changes their mind constantly, also used as another term for poser
submitted by J69

Pop a Squat

It means you have to pee (i have to pop a squat)
submitted by Brittney and Brittney

Pop a jimmy

To get a boner
submitted by Tyler,mike,kav,baker

Pop it off

A word with various meanings, mainly to get a duty done. (i.e. boning, drinking, or toking)
submitted by kingoftheworld

Pop out the Machine Gun

When you have 20 small farts in a row
submitted by KennyM!

Pop-corn fart

Someone who is an extreme idiot/dork/loser
submitted by mike hunt III

Poppin Jay

Technically it's a conceited person. but we just say it whenever. :D
submitted by miss tianna marie.

Pork with Beans Roll

A fat person who farts a lot.
submitted by This name for rent

Porky Cheese

Portugal
submitted by rax

Porn buddy

A pact you make with friend so that in the unfortunate event of your death he will clear out all of your porn stash to lessen the anguish of your poor parents
submitted by Raimundo

Posh Wank

Wanking with a condom on
submitted by Dinsdale

Postard

One who posts retarded things to your blog or facebook
submitted by Dave

Pot nob

A misfortunate guy who got his genitalia caught in a bike chain, riped off, then forced to wear a ceramic phallus
submitted by Karakazov

Potato

A person with a weird shaped body
submitted by

Pour me some love

Showing love/ Giving love!!!
submitted by Robert M. Hensel

Praying to the Porcelain God

To puke
submitted by en

Preggo

A guy who thinks he has muscles
submitted by Ping

Preggo

A pregnant lady
submitted by samthaman

Pretarted

The stage before your retarted
submitted by Tyler

Prettifulous

Being overly pretty, beautiful, and gorgeous
submitted by Doug

Pretty boys

Lads who have nice cars and no that they are good looking! How vain! Normally have a bee-atch in the passenger seat.
submitted by cornwall

Pretty Tatties Mr Fish

A Cornish expression of delight, meaning something is excellent
submitted by Jess

Prettyful

Someone/something who/that is both pretty and boodiful
submitted by kitty kat katy (meow)

Pretzel

A twisted penis
submitted by ollie

Price Check!

When you see a really hot girl you say this or you can say this just for fun
submitted by monkey

Prickle Dick

A general insult to somebody who is being an asshole.
submitted by Profressor Pickle Snatcher.

Prison pocket

Where a male inmate would hide his contraband. Up his poop shoot
submitted by Nicole Crocker

Prisser

a p*ssy..like a guy that gets married when you think hes hot and you wanted him or something like tom delonge from blink 182 hes a prisser!!!
submitted by trisha

Prittler

To be annoying and weird, but popular
submitted by Baylee

Problemette

A minor problem
submitted by moi

Procrastibating

Masturbating to delay something you should be doing at a later time
submitted by Will

Procrastibating

To masterbate out of boredom, or to avoid work.
submitted by Tyler

Proggy

Old persons way of saying burnout
submitted by Anonymous

Prolly

Probably
submitted by Leo

Proper Bo

Well Good
submitted by Big Pete

Proper Job

It's a cornish expression which means that everything is going well. eg "How's it going pal?" "Proper job". Must be done in a cornish accent (no piss takers plz)
submitted by jess, cornwall

Prostatutative

A male prostatute
submitted by Kimmeh + Sazza

Prostitot

A prostitute under the age of 15
submitted by Seaghan (sam and meaghan)

Protecter Against Evil

A condom
submitted by kelli xXx

PROvert

A pervert only with way more experience
submitted by Nicole Crocker

Psshhh!

Used to end conversation you don't want or to shut someone up. More effective when you used the talk to the hand movement
submitted by Tyler Durden (A.K.A Les)

Psycopathyvaginism

Use when someone is acting weird as to say.... "You need to go to a psycopathyvaginism doctor"
submitted by monkey balls

Pubeup

Placing a pube on every sleeping person at a party
submitted by finneranandbill

Pud Douchler

The highest level of gayness and fagishness
submitted by ryan and joe

Pudd

Fart
submitted by MC

Puddification

What happens to pudding when you put it in the fridge and it thickens
submitted by Adair

Pude

n, abbr: Abbreviation of Pudenda, or a lady's Snatch.
submitted by Pleb

Pudge

Penetration without completing the task
submitted by PLK

Puffer

Someone who likes to smoke an illigal drug
submitted by Nadia B

Pufitos

Annoying
submitted by Yektzo

Pug fugly

So ugly it burns!
submitted by darth

puketastic

So good it makes u wanna puke all over
submitted by random hero

Pull

To get off with someone who is not your girlfriend, and has not been preorganised
submitted by Nathan

Pull a Mikey

Tell on someone
submitted by Luke Swanky

Pull A Ringo

Make a right, the opposite of "Hang A Louie"
submitted by Sharona

Pulling a Papas

When you do something stupid you say "Hey he just pulled a papa's!"
submitted by your mama

Pumpity

Fart
submitted by laura

Punani

Pussy/vagina
submitted by Goth Princess*

Punannywambow

The act of eating pun-tang
submitted by Kirby

Punch Dat Ho

When you go up for a dunk in basketball, your friend says "Punch that ho". That means dunk it really hard.
submitted by J easy

pundril

a person or animal thats really cute
submitted by ruth

Punga Punga

Pretty
submitted by sophia

Punjabi Prawndick

Rhyming term for a very small penis. Based on the stereotype of Punjabi men being "three-inch fools"
submitted by Bhangra Girl

Punk Ass

Something that is very cool and punk.
submitted by T-SAMP

Punk Cock

A Penis that Is Pierced
submitted by KennyM!

Pure

Like the actual meaning of pure, it means when something is REALLY something, but the adjective is implied (eg: 'austin powers is so pure', meaning austin powers is really 60's)
submitted by rep. of amanda and jo

Purple headed warrior

A penis
submitted by andy smith

Purple headed womb ferret

A penis
submitted by IsaacMattAsh

Purple Headed Woom Broom

Similar to joy stick
submitted by Davey Wavey

Puss Puss

Kiss
submitted by lovebird

Put the rocket in the socket

To have sex
submitted by asherlaa

Puta

"Whore" in portuguese
submitted by Tuga

Puttsy

"A "proper" name for fart"
submitted by anonymous

Putzing

Walking around the house rubbing your belly wondering what in the HELL to do
submitted by Wendel--

PWAPS

Perky tits
submitted by Juggs

Pwn

Own to the fullest extent of of all humanly possibilitiness
submitted by Robeastondioso

Pwnagizer [bunny]

Pwner that keeps going & going & going
submitted by robeastondioso

Pwnology

The science of pwnage
submitted by Teh Uberness