Check out the latest viruses

Lewinsky Virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

Kenneth Starr Virus: Completely examines every aspect of your computer, then compiles a complex report that discredits every aspect of your computer.

Ronald Reagan Virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson Virus: Quits after two bytes. Spits everything out.

Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus: Deletes all old files.

Ellen Degeneres Virus: Disks can no longer be inserted.

Titanic Virus: Your whole computer goes down.

Disney Virus: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

Prozac Virus: Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

Joey Buttafuoco Virus: Only attacks minor files.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it vill be baaack.

Lorena Bobbit Virus: Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.

Viagra Virus: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

Clinton Virus: Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory