Why it's probably best not to have a sporting idol

Chicago Cubs outfielders Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

Football Commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norma Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height." And "You guys pair in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships:
"I've won at every level, except college and pro."

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece:
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister is expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday night as opposed to Sunday afternoons:
"It's basically the same, just darker."

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
"Son looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

And Finally:

Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all road trips, Phillips responded:
"Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye."