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"How often should I plan to have sex?" the young bridegroom asked his grandfather on his wedding night.

Grandpa said, "When you're first married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day. Later on, sex tapers and you have it maybe once a week or so. Then, as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year -- maybe on your anniversary."

"Well, how about you and grandma now?" the younger man asked.

Grandpa replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now."

"What"s oral sex?"

"Well," said Grandpa, "She goes to bed in her bedroom, I go to bed in my bedroom. She yells, "FUCK YOU," and I holler back, "FUCK YOU, TOO."

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