Like the funny pictures section, how could this be a proper humour site without a huge database of jokes? It couldn't, so here's a huge database of jokes...
"I was swept overboard in a storm," says the pirate. "A shark bit off me whole leg."
"Wow!" said the sailor. "What about the hook?"
"We were boarding an enemy ship, battling the other seamen with swords. One of them cut me hand clean off."
"Incredible!" remarked the sailor. "And the eye patch?"
"A seagull dropping fell in me eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.
Said the pirate, "It was me first day with the hook."